Match Reports

Another stinking hot bloody day at Broadaxe, saw us face Bartestree & Lugwardine 3's, looking to extend our recent good form against a side that we threw away a victory over, earlier in the season down at Wyeside. After the exertions of the previous night's 'Lizzie Traylor Memorial Cup' fixture against PSAFC, and more precisely the post match celebrations 🍻🥴, some of our players were a little jaded to start today. Despite a relatively early night (having slunk off for a Thai again we think) 'Triple P' Strim was late again — the excuse of “I thought it was a 13.30 start, and so I was still on the sun-bed” not going down too well with the boys to be honest!??

Today's 'chosen few' were — skipper, 'Where's my Butler' Will B; Luke 'the Lump' Jones; Ed 'the Red' Rees; 'Triple P' Strim Piggott; 'CDG' Gibbons; Dave 'Golly Green Giant / Mostin' Austin; 'Fun-time' Freddie Chilman; 'Bungalow' Billy Jones; 'Ron Manager' Stocker (wicketkeeper); Merv 'Voldemort' Stephens; and 'Horny' Will Horner.

With sun overhead, and a flat-ish looking wicket (as good as is possible given current conditions — thank you Merv 👏👏) 'Where's my Butler' elected to bat first after winning his 3rd toss in successive weeks. Sending himself in at #1, along with #2 'CDG' Gibbons — the latter not a natural opening batsman (or indeed a batsman at all really!!) but bravely stepping up after 'Triple P's' initial no-show. With some degree of predictability, 'CDG' fell for a 6 ball (0) 🦆, and was followed 4 overs later by 'Where's my Butler' (15) who disappointingly failed to convert a decent start again.

At 22-2 we were in danger of a collapse, but #3 Luke 'the Lump' (20) and #4 Ed 'the Red' steadied the ship before the former marched down the wicket looking to launch one out towards Kington, duly missed it and so was stumped approx 5yds out of his crease!! #5 'Triple P' Strim (who had finally turned up, after topping up his precious 'man-tan' all morning 💁🏽‍♂️🌈) had plenty to do to make up for his tardiness, and strode in with an air of confidence — unfortunately this was completely misplaced, as he promptly departed for a 2nd ball (0) duck 🦆 two mins later 🤦🤬. When Ed 'the Red' (24) had a complete brain fart in the next over (bowled, attempting a horrific cross bat shot to a slow, loopy straight one!?) we found ourselves 73-5 off 23 overs and staring at an indefensible total.

With magic required, Merv 'Voldemort' Stephens came in at #6 and initially looked comfortable with #7 'Mostin', however dubious shot choices yet again, accounted for both — the former top scoring with (27), the latter a disappointing (10). 'Fun-time' Fred arrived at #8 looking, it has to be said, far from fresh (?!) thus quick singles were definitely a no-no. Whilst not pretty, he bravely anchored the innings for an unbeaten (21*), but had to watch the rest of the tail successively throw their wickets away against some fairly friendly bowling! #9 'Horny' scored (22) but should have been more, #10 'Ron Manager' an entertaining (17) off 11 balls, before #11 'Bungalow' (1) lived up to his namesake with an almighty 'swing' but absolutely no 'ding', to be bowled in the 42nd over. Thus our generally frustrating innings came to an end at 183-10 off 41.4 overs — all of us knowing we'd left a lot of runs out there! For B&L, Kemp J. (3-51 off 9) and Chambers-Hebron W. (3-40 off 9) were the pick.

Teas were another 'combined' effort today, each player bringing a pre-designated 'plate', thus making it a very easy task to offer a great spread (it is not hard — the only requisite being a fridge really, that we got free from a local ad!!)

B&L, who were quite rightly happy with their fielding efforts, started their run chase in confident fashion, racing to 47-0 before 'Bungalow' Billy (definitely making up for his earlier batting faux-pas) removed both openers Fawbert T. (26) & Eckley M. (20) — just rewards for an aggressive, accurate and controlled spell of bowling (2-23 off 6). At the other end, 'Mostin' was equally impressive, but maybe had slightly more luck to bowl an impressive (4-34 off 9) including dangerous #3 Wan K. as well as #5, #6, #7 — 'toodle-oo mofo's' (sorry, an in joke for the boi's 🤣). With B&L wobbling at 104-6, 'CDG' defied less than ideal conditions for a big man (🥵) with an inspired late spell of (3-15 off 4), before 'the Lump' finished things off (1-2 off 1.4) — Bartestree & Lugwardine all out (121-10) off 23.3 overs, Evans A. (24) and Bradbury D. (20) the only contributors of note. Another game played in great spirits — thank you B&L 👏👏

Thus a 3rd successive win for PCC, that consolidates our 6th place, but leaves us now just 13pts behind B&L in 5th! With 2no remaining fixtures, (h) vs Ledbury next week, and (a) Eastnor on the last day of the season we need to keep the pressure on those above us!

'Man of the Match' was a close one today between our two opening bowlers, but 'Mostin' just pipped 'Bungalow' for the Champagne bottle ('CDG' even getting a mention in dispatches!!). 'Dick of the Day' wasn't close at all, in fact pretty much a foregone conclusion, with 'Triple P / Man-tan' Strim the only nominee. Being late (again), getting a duck 🦆, and bowling like 'Brighty' (🤦) meant another phallus to add to his collection!!

Great support again today (thank you the Barny Army) including some great banter — “blimey, there's another eclipse” as one of our slightly portlier fans took his seat in the front row, took some beating! (we luv ya 'Big Al' 🤣😘)

Home again next Sat 22nd (12.30) vs Ledbury, then T20 Finals day at Dales CC on Sun 23rd — we'd love your support. Have a great week all!! 🏏🥪🍻

Back on our travels this week, to face the high-flying (2nd in the League) Ross-on-Wye at their river-side located, but still sun-scorched, Wilton Rd Sports Centre — a daunting prospect for us, as Ross's good form was in stark contrast to our own run of four successive defeats! To make matters even more challenging, various weddings, harvesting, music gigs, holidays and pre-season football (!?!) commitments had made getting an XI out this week bloody hard work (six players from last week unavailable!) — the 'Kingsland Pimpernel' (KP) Charlie Sankey, 'CDG' Chunky Dunc-y Gibbons, Morgan 'Speedo' Speed, Craig 'Strim' Piggot, and yours truly 'Chairman / Kim Jong Jim' the only survivors!

Club skipper Will 'Where's my Butler' Bartholomew returned after a 5-week injury lay-off; Arthur 'No more than four / the Cinnamon Kid' Chilman (naturally, we stopped at Heggies on the way through Hereford — me asking Arthur to get me a roll or something as I stayed with the car — Sanks and Norman come back with dripping pork baguettes, bloody Arthur brings me and him a cinnamon swirl each — the old Phil Collins classic 'He's no son of mine' sprang to mind 🤦); Matty 'Trigger' Griffiths; 'Tek Screw' Tim Long (they're the only things holding his body together!); Tek Screw's 13yo boy Ollie; and Hugh 'BGC' Norman (Big Ginger Coot) completing the line-up.

'Where's my Butler' amazingly won the toss (stand-in skipper Ed 'the Red' having lost the previous four!) and wisely chose to bat first on what looked like an absolute road of a wicket. 'KP' Sanks and 'Strim' opened and duly put on a season-best 1st-wicket partnership of 124, before the former was caught on the boundary for 60. 'Kim Jong Jim' (30) supported 'Top Shagga' as the latter top-scored with 87 — his best knock to date for PCC 👏👏👏.

Skipper 'Where's my Butler' understandably showed a bit of rust after six weeks away and struggled for 3, before 'CDG' bludgeoned an entertaining 34* at the end, with 'Speedo' (5*) holding the other end. 'CDG's' new 'stand and deliver' approach reaped rich reward, though a slight traction control issue at one stage did cause concern — thankfully the hamstring survived intact this time 😬. We worried that 256-4 might have been a little under par on such a good wicket, but importantly we had batted out our 45 overs, forcing Ross to toil in the hot, tiring sun for 3.5 hours.

A fantastic half-time teas was provided by the home side — well done Ross CC 🥪🍰👏 (we've got to keep working on all teams to do the same — to our thinking, it's an integral part of the game!).

And so to the second innings. Ross were confident of the chase, especially as they had the Division's leading run scorer M. Fazaluhdeen in their ranks, as well as other batsmen in good form. We knew we would have to bowl them out to get a win. 'Speedo' (2-53 off 9) and 'Trigger' (1-36 off 9) opened the attack, the former bowling with real pace and menace, the latter delivering his reliable line, length and guile.

Ross's openers got off to a good start before our first breakthrough via a smart run-out — 'KP' Sanks smartly picking up the ball at extra cover and firing a bolt back to stand-in keeper 'Kim Jong Jim', who effortlessly gathered and took the bails off (a truly Jack Russell-esque display of wicket keeping 🤣). Ross's #3 then skied a catch off 'Trigger' in the same over, to bring danger man 'Faz' in at #4, with the home side 72-2 off 16.

We knew we had to get him out before he settled, and 'BGC' Norman duly delivered with a brute that nicked the edge and was taken neatly behind, in yet another display of first-class keeping 🤣. Unfortunately a slight downer ensued two balls later, as a wayward ball forced 'Kim Jong Jim' into an acrobatic diving roll (to stop an otherwise certain 4 byes), only for the ball to hit the end of his ring finger and break/dislocate it soundly — leaving it pointing in a very funny direction, and about as straight as Freddie Mercury 🤦. Not much use thereafter, he took a trip to A&E, regrettably leaving the boys down to 10 😬.

Whatever followed was downright heroic. Ross's #2 P. Franklin played a fantastic innings (118) to get them within sight of victory at 202-5 off 34 overs, seemingly in control of the game — but our boys weren't done yet. 'BGC' (1-29 off 5), 'Where's my Butler' (0-40 off 4 — sounds expensive, but could easily have had 2-3 wickets on another day), 'Strim' (1-26 off 4), and 'CDG' (0-17 off 4 — some workout for the big boi!) all bowled nervelessly.

Then 'KP' Sanks (who had donned the wicket keeping gloves after Kim Jong Jim's demise) bowled a match-turning spell of 3-36 off 7, including the crucial wicket of centurion P. Franklin. This left Ross on 245-9 with two overs to go, with dangerous #9 J. Lewis well set and still confident of the 12 needed. Arthur 'the Cinnamon Kid' bowled the 44th, steamed in for the kill, and clean bowled J. Lewis (20) with the third ball — 247 all out — securing a famous (and well overdue) victory for PCC. Cue wild and well-deserved celebrations.

Champagne Moment / MotM shared by 'KP' Sanks (for his 60 / death bowling / and staying off the sauce on Friday night 🤣) and 'Strim' (for his 87 / and arriving on time today). No 'Dick of the Day' — doubtless 'Where's my Butler' too nervous to bring it up — but the 'Cinnamon Kid' would have been the shout 🤣.

Home again next week, against good friends Moccas CC. A note for your diaries — PCC's Super Sixes returns by popular demand on Sunday 30th August (Bank Holiday weekend) — don't miss out!

Another long, hot sunny day (is there any end to it?!) as we entertained 'auld foes' Hay-on-Wye at Broadaxe — the square and outfield looking more like a sub-Saharan plain than a Mid Wales playing field. Great work from Merv 'the mower' Stephens again to get us wicket-prepared 👏.

A slightly re-jigged lineup with Will 'Where's my Butler' Bartholomew still completing his injury recovery. Ed 'the Red' skippered again, welcoming newbie Will Horner (introduced via 'the Lump'), returning youngster Joey 'the Stone' Jones, and 'Kim Jong Jim' Chilman hauled in from semi-retirement.

As is his style, Ed obvs lost the toss 🤦 and we were duly invited to stand in the field for the next three hours. Morgan 'Speedo' Speed showed pace and control (2-35 off 9), Joey 'the Stone' bowled his ever-reliable line and length (1-53 off 9), and Charlie 'boom boom' Sankey mixed screamers, left-arm leg spin and off breaks from the same 3-yard run-up — figures (0-57) not reflecting the performance.

Will Horner (0-47), returning to cricket after nearly a decade, and 'Strim' Piggot (0-13 — radar uncalibrated 🤦) supported. 'CDG' Gibbons (0-30) and Luke 'the Lump' (0-38) rounded out a hard shift as W. Price top-scored with a fantastic 110, ably supported by Barry (76*), Evans (52) and Moore (31*). Hay closed on 346/5.

Teas by Sarah C — enjoyed by everyone (bugger all left over for the bait box!). Match kindly sponsored by Presteigne Tyre Services — thank you Nige, Jackie, Liam & Cal 🤗.

Needing 347, 'Ron Manager' Stocker mused whether there was any point batting at all and offered a draw in exchange for free teas — Hay declined. 'Strim' skied one to extra cover for 1, 'Kim Jong Jim' fell for 8, and we were 19-2 in the 7th.

Luke 'the Lump' Jones steadied the ship with a well-constructed 60 👏, before Ed 'the Red' torpedoed his own innings third ball for a golden duck 🦆. Will Horner stubbornly stuck around for 10 overs (5) before a fantastic one-handed stretching grab at mid-off ended his stay.

Joey 'the Stone' Jones then shared a valiant 77-run 5th-wicket partnership with Luke before falling for 34 in the 30th over. Luke edged behind soon after. 'Speedo' (2) and Merv 'the Mower' (0) fell cheaply — Merv very unlucky, caught by an absolute worldie one-handed leaping catch off a crunching off-drive (hats off G. Moore 👏).

Tail-end cameos followed: 'the Kingsland Pimpernel' Sankey (24) including a memorable reverse sweep off middle stump, and 'CDG' Gibbons — clearly having learnt from previous experience in the heat — declining to run at all, favouring a 'stand and deliver' approach for an entertaining unbeaten 20*. 'Ron Manager' Stocker came in at 11 with his old Achilles playing up, scored 6 and predictably heaved at a straight one.

Innings ended 190 all out in the 39th over. Another disappointing result but another great day's sport. Great to have the Hay boys back to the Bowlers afterwards — 🏏🍰🍻 that's what it's all about.

Awards: Champagne Moment — Charlie 'the Kingsland Pimpernel' Sankey for his reverse sweep 🤣👏. Dick of the Day — Ed 'the Red' Rees for the duck and a dropped catch (well deserved, after nominating yours truly last week!). Onwards and upwards — away to high-flying Ross-on-Wye next.